Tony: Hang on—you’ll feel a—
Pepper: Nnng
Tony: —A little shock of something.
Pepper: Aahhhh right right right. Okay okay okay, I—
[—Feel amazing—]
Pepper: I always forget how it feels to get hooked up.
Tony: It’s a pip, yeah? When I had Extremis in me it kind of felt like that all the time. It’s pretty great. Living on the bleeding edge…which is where you’ll be when we’re done here today. Just in time, too. As I don’t have any labs capable of doing this kind of work. You’re being upgraded Pepper. The repulsomagnetic tech in your chest is upping your metabolism, your core strength, reaction time, reflexes…even your intelligence is leaping up 25 to 30 I.Q. points.
Pepper: Tony Stark. Are you transforming me into your dream girl?
Tony: Actually my dream girls at the moment are a gaggle of icelandic flight attendants I met snowboarding. Triplets. Their parents owned a yoga studio if you can believe it.
Pepper: I’m a little disturbed that in the middle of a complicated biotech procedure, you’ve got your own Girls Gone Wild slideshow so readily available. In fact I think it’s wildly inappropriate.
Tony: Oh, come on, Pepper. You know you were always my dream girl.
Pepper: …
— From Iron Man v5, #8 by Matt Fraction, art by Salvador Larroca
Peter: How do you think Cap’s taking it?
Clint: Considering that I know for a fact that it flies in the face of everything he holds hear…
Peter: So, bad then?
Clint: I think we’re going to have to find a new place for the Avengers to live.
Thor: I will steady this.
— From Avengers v4, #9 by Brian Michael Bendis, art by John Romita Jr.
Steve: Tell me this hasn’t been going on the entire time I’ve been in charge.
Tony: You need to calm down—
Steve: Tony.
Tony: How did you even find us out here?
Steve: Tony, stop! Just stop it. I know when you’re stalling so you can cook up a lie to cover yourself. Tell me the truth. Are you big brains getting together behind my back?! Are you real that petty? Are you really that angry that I”m in charge now instead of you?
Steve: I can’t believe you, Tony.
Tony: It isn’t personal, Steve.
Steve: I’m in charge of the security of the free world. Something like this, you tell me.
Tony: I’m sorry your feelings are hurt.
Steve: My feelings?! You think this is about my feelings?
Tony: This part, here, yes.
Steve: The ego on you! The astronomical ego. I told you that Congress wanted to hold you accountable for all of Norman Osborn’s actions! I told you that I convinced them not to go forward…And you told me that you would behave. That you would be a model Avenger. And so you just decide that you should have a secret group with a secret agenda.
Tony: And you decided to be Captain America! Let’s not start pulling at that string, the entirety of our world will unravel.
— From Avengers v4, #9 by Brian Michael Bendis, art by John Romita Jr.
Tony: Lucky you, Maria. You’re going to Texas.
Maria: Yee haw. Why? Where in Texas?
Tony: Austin. Home of a Stark subsidiary called Futurepharm. I left something there and I need you to get it for me. A hard drive. One of, oh, ten, fifteen thousand that’ll be arrayed on-site. Get down there, break in, find a terminal, plug this jump drive in and it’ll tell you where to go and which one to take.
Maria: Dunno if you caught that little press conference earlier, but you and me are Norman Osborn’s own Bonnie and Clyde. Public enemies and such. Is it really such a good idea that we split up and go bonkers?
Tony: Oh, I think going bonkers is completely imperative. Unhook me. There’s more. This drive, when you have it—I need you to deliver it to someone.
Maria: What am I, your courier?
Tony: Listen, this is important. Take the drive. Find Captain America. Give it to him.
Maria:…That’s it? Just find…Captain America? What the hell is on this hard drive of yours, Tony…?
Tony: This and that. Hill, you’re pretty resourceful. I’m sure you can pull it off. Pretty sure, anyway.
Maria: And you don’t have a what, an Avengers decoder ring you can give me, or anything? A secret handshake I can give him? An email address?
Tony: Sure, just drop him a line. He’s cap@us.gov.
Maria: Now you’re making jokes?
Tony: It’s that or start crying.
— From Iron Man v5, #10 by Matt Fraction, art by Salvador Larroca
Maria: You unbelievable, stubborn son of a—
Pepper: Maria.
Maria: I’m not going to help Tony Stark kill himself because imaginary boogeymen are coming to steal his thoughts. I appreciate that you’ve got a long history of enabling the guy, though, so you go right ahead. In the meantime, you two can go to hell.
— From Iron Man v5, #9 by Matt Fraction, art by Salvador Larroca
Jessica: Damn Ninjas.
Clint: Yep.
Jessica: I hate them like Indiana Jones hates snakes.
Clint:. Yep.
— From Avengers v4, #24 by Brian Michael Bendis, art by Daniel Acuna
Nick Fury: They called him the Winter Soldier. Supposed to be the KGB’s secret weapon. A guy who could pass for American and slip behind enemy lines or cross borders without raisin’ an eyebrow. Deadly with a knife or a rifle…even deadlier hand-to-hand. And since he was a ghost, half the time they weren’t even sure if it was an accident or a murder.
Story was they kept him on ice and only woke him up for the big gigs. He’d be in stasis for five years…then out in the world for six months working…and back to Rip Van Winkle-land once the bodies hit the morgue. But like I said, until today, the Winter Soldier was a myth. Someone for the suits to hang suspicious deaths on, but far as I can tell, no one ever really believed he existed. But I do, because I’ve got a picture form last week at Dulles International…here he is again, about three years older than he was in ‘76…
— From Captain America v5, #8 by Ed Brubaker, art by Steve Epting
Steve: I’m sorry, what am I supposed to be looking at here, Fury?
Nick: I think you can figure it out, Rogers. Just look.
Sharon: I already told him, Nick. He’s not going to listen…
Steve: So, you expect me to believe, what…that these are pictures of Bucky? Then Sharon’s right…I’m not going to listen to that.
— From Captain America v5, #8 by Ed Brubaker, art by Steve Epting
Pepper:. It buzzes in my chest when I pass machines. I can feel it. Like a new sense.
Tony: That’s exactly what it is. You’re picking up electrical fields, magnetic fields, all kinds of invisible frequencies.
Pepper: Wow.
Tony: Do me a favor. Close your eyes.
Pepper: Okay.
Tony: Okay. You said it feels like magnets pushing apart, right?
Pepper: Yeah.
Tony: Focus on that. Just let yourself feel that weird new feeling.
Pepper: Okay.
Tony: Now let it get bigger.
Pepper: Ohh…okay…
Tony: Let it radiate out, right? It starts in your chest. Imagine it’s a stone dropped in the middle of a pond. Imagine it rippling out.
Pepper: I can feel it, Tony. Just like you said.
Tony: Yeah, I know it feels like a weight you’re burdened with, but it’s not…start thinking of it like an extension of yourself.
Tony: And this is just a magnet?
Tony: Well, not just, but—there’s magnetism involved, yeah. It’s pretty miraculous. Open your eyes and see.
Pepper: Oh, Tony, I—
Maria Hill: Director Stark.
— From Iron Man v5, #4 by Matt Fraction, art by Salvador Larroca
Tony: It’s true—the Iron Man was always designed to be a weapon. The mag-field generator implanted in my chest was meant to run a war-array and save my life. That was what I built. That’s what it’s been built as ever since. But this one—it’s not weapons-based.
Pepper: I…what?
Tony: Do you know Danny Rand? Runs, uh, Rand Industries? Kung Fu guy. Kind of a space cadet? Anyway, his company’s done some really innovative work with electromagnets lately. They’ve never been a weapons concern, so—so the tech we borrowed form them isn’t a weapon. Pepper, you’re not a bomb. You’re a battery.
Pepper: Oh. Oh, that’s great—I just—Tony, I just assumed—
— From Iron Man v5, #4 by Matt Fraction, art by Salvador Larroca
Pepper: They’re officially discharging me tomorrow.
Tony: That’s great news. Are you in pain? Are the implants—
Pepper: No. I am in absolutely no pain. I can hear better than ever, I feel stronger than I ever have in my life, and I’m totally mobile again. I’m a walking, talking, billion-dollar miracle, Tony. Take it out.
Tony: Okay… Why?
— From Iron Man v5, #4 by Matt Fraction, art by Salvador Larroca
[I always call it the garage. Doesn’t matter where it is. This one’s on the Helicarrier. The garage is where my real work gets done.]
Pepper: Tony?
[Dammit, now I’m gonna lose my train of thought—]
Pepper:. Tony seriously, look—
Tony: One sec. Let me get to the point that I can run the compiler before I forget what I’m doing.
Pepper: Sure, take your time. Modern medical miracle here, is all. Love of your life up and walking sans cane after being completely blown up. Nnnnot a big deal at all.
Tony: Pepper Potts. Look at you. You recovery time has been amazing.
— From Iron Man v5, #4 by Matt Fraction, art by Salvador Larroca
Steve: I’ve got this.
Sharon: Steve!
— From Captain America v5, #3 by Ed Brubaker, art by Steve Epting
Yes, Steve did in fact just jump out of a flying car in order to crash an airplane.
Steve: And let’s not forget that there is very little chance that’s really the Red Skull being autopsied on the Helicarrier.
Sharon: Okay, but if it’s not, then why are we trudging through underground tunnels in the middle of the night?
Steve: Just in case.
Sharon: And to think I’d forgotten how frustrating you could be…
— From Captain America v5, #2 by Ed Brubaker, art by Steve Epting
Bruce, cuddling his stuffed doppelgänger.
Submitted by Niani-D